I am reading a fantastic book that I found by accident called “Dancers Between Realms-Empath Energy, Beyond Empathy” by Elisabeth Fitzhugh. It’s an amazing book and if you are an empath like me, its like it was written to and for you.
I have struggled with my empathic abilities my entire life–picking up and dealing with other people’s energy–including their emotional garbage. I didn’t know I was an empath until my therapist told me that I had the qualities of one. Once I did more research, everything in my life seemed to click. My emotional ebbs and flows, my depression/anxiety, my physical illnesses, and my emotional “triggers”-feelings I would get from others that would either make me jump for joy or be home crying on my couch.
Being an empath means picking up on things–feeling what others are feeling–and its hard sometimes to separate the two. I used to think I was a sensitive person–and I am–but I am also a sensing person. I am very sensitive to what I call “emotional shifts,”when I can immediately feel a change in the energy either in a room or near a person immediately. Sometimes the feelings are so powerful I need to walk away, or not be in the situation or by that person at all. It’s all taxing and demanding on me both mentally and physically.
One of the things I love about the book, is that she gives you tips on how to deal with everyday situations–the sense of feeling overwhelmed at work, the inability to say no because you don’t want to “feel” the persons disappointment–and relationships. As an empath-its hard for me to immediately trust someone, but once I do, the bond is very strong. However in certain relationships, and this is mentioned in the book, some relationships end with a disconnection–when the energy keeps flowing out but the vibration coming back is not the same. The empath “unplugs” and starts to drift. And its hard. One thing I am learning on my journey-is that nothing truly lasts forever. We live in moments. Every second is a moment in our history here on earth. And sometimes those moments are painful, and sometimes they are filled with tremendous joy. Sometime we connect with people for a short while and sometimes we connect with them eternally. What matters is the moments.
Someone posted the “6 Sweet Survival Tips for the Sensitive Soul” on Facebook recently and I found it to have a special vibe. Particularly the following statements:
“Be aware of what is yours and what is not.”
I struggled and still do struggle with that. The emotional garbage from others that sticks to me like glue. And having anxiety/depression compounds the matter. Because I can’t always tell if its me feeling sad, angry, anxious–or someone else. I have recently started to make a ritual every day when I get home and every morning when I wake up. Its simple. I take a shower, and scrub myself down with these amazing bath salts from Shaman’s Dawn and say a little affirmation. At night I will light some incense or sage and smudge myself down-again saying a little affirmation. I have found by doing this I am slowly but surely “cleaning” up other people’s crap that was sticking to me. I have found since I started doing this little daily ritual, I have had to rely less and less on my anxiety medication–which is making me think my anxiety was due to my empathic nature. I also find affirmations and mantras really help to “close” down the sensitivity. I will keep telling myself that I am “shutting down,” ensuring that there is a shield to surround me. When I want to open my empathic abilities, I will tell myself its OK to do so, but with conditions. I love “feeling”~but not to much! However, sometimes, you meet people who you connect with so deeply that you actually “feel” their emotional states without even being near them. I struggled a lot with that till I finally came up with the idea of keeping some quartz (a natural healing stone) and hematite (helps absorb negative energy) on me at all times. That way I can still keep my abilities receptive with an open heart-but also protecting myself for the “emotional crash” that will occur after; one of the interesting thing that occurs in situations like that, where there is so much exchanging of energy-that when you separate-the energy is still moving but not connecting. There is always a “crash” afterward–or until you see that person or persons again. I find this often with large groups of like-minded individuals-particularly if you spent days with them. Suddenly you feel like you were separated from family-you can still feel the energy flowing but the input back is not existent. This is all particularly true if you meet other empaths. We always tend to flow into each other–that so familiar push and pull effect.
“Surround yourself with people that understand your nature and nurture that connection.”
This is always a tricky one because there are people we enjoy being around and people we connect with. There is a difference. We meet people who share common likes and dislikes with us, but the energy connection is not vibrating on the same frequency. So naturally we enjoy their company but will always feel like “something is missing.” It doesn’t mean they can’t be lasting or good friendships or relationships-they are just not that same as relationships with other empaths or those who understand the connection. It’s a lot different being a room with people who understand who you are then with people who just understand you are different. Its easier to talk to people and connect with people who are like you. Things needn’t be explained with those people. It’s like you are in an ever-present state of just being. You just are. There is no expectation of explanation. When you drift off, when you sense something, when you feel something you can openly express it without fear of either being ridiculed or having to explain yourself. Again, it’s that moment.
I am learning gradually, that being an empath is not easy. In fact, while I like having the gift of the empathic nature-sometimes I could do without it. Shutting down and turning on. Having to differentiate constantly between what is me and what is someone else, and of course the fact that being an empath affects both my mental, emotional and physical health is a daily struggle. The fact that I am finally able to slowly tell the difference between my emotions and someone else has finally given me the chance to wean myself off of anti-anxiety meds is a step in the right direction. I am understanding that perhaps while part of my depression issues are biological, some of it can be placed on the emotional sludge I get thrown on me inadvertently from others.
For now, I just live in the moments I get–good and bad. Those little seconds of time that create the minutes, hours, days, weeks and years of my existence on the earthly plane.
Walker at the Crossroads 