The Unattainable

We all have something: a person place or thing that lies just out of our reach. So close that you can touch it with your fingertips and yet it’s so far away. And it not that you couldn’t have it- but just that you can’t. You can’t because after all the wishing, work and desire- it is just not meant to be yours. You relish in your mind, the moment that you have it. Even for a little while. You relish the way it makes you feel. The way you imagine yourself in that place where you always wanted to go. Mending a relationship that was shattered. Holding something/someone in your arms that you can almost feel and smell. Hearing words you wanted to hear. All the magic in the world couldn’t change the fact that what you want you may never get. The proverbial “follow your dreams,” just doesn’t happen. It may to some, but not everyone. We all have an unattainable. And there needs to a moment where you take a breath and accept that the journey has gone as far as it can, and its time to let go.

seaport during daytime

Photo by Pok Rie on

What IS Happiness?

I have struggled with this question for most of my adult life. What does it really mean to be happy? Is anyone truly happy? Or are we just content? Is happiness a permanent state of mind or is it something that happens in little spurts?

I am not unhappy but I am also not happy. I know that makes zero sense. I am happy right now with my life; however, I am always looking for that “something more.” Maybe it’s just my personality– but I find that things and places get old for me fast.

 I am always looking for the next big adventure, meeting new people, stardownloadting a new hobby and of course, being a life long learner. And all while I am chasing this idea of happiness- I am also craving stability and normalcy. I am seeking happiness in just being content with myself and my life. 

I often find myself jealous of people who seem content in their lives. Married, with a family in a little home and jobs they love. What is that like? But then I have to question– are they really happy?

What defines happiness?

Money? Love? A home? A job? Marriage? or is happiness something much more? Do we trick ourselves into believing that happiness are all the things we are supposed to have and want in life? Or is happiness just something we occasionally experience? Is true happiness deeper or spiritual? 

And is anyone really happy?

*Wanted* Love

“Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person being loved.”


I have been thinking a lot about love lately, seeing as the end and beginning of love has been a theme for me over the past 6 months. As an adult, a loving relationship means more than it did when I was younger. Before it was the swooning and the lovely bits. Now its about the bigger picture. It’s about cherishing the moments of love. Honoring and appreciating the moments of love. As an adult, love needs to mean more than just a word. Love is more than kisses and hugs and “I love you’s” ,,,,,,,

I heard a great quote on a TV show I was watching recently, “Men need to be loved. Women need to feel wanted.” It made me think about the word love. We are raised as children to say the word love and not understand the real meaning of it. We are told to say it. “Tell daddy you love him,” “Say I love you.” As children we understand that it means something “good” because we get a positive reaction whenever we are told to say it.

As we get older, we use the word all the time, “I love this color,” “I love this couch.” We throw around the word love in the most meaningless way. We say “I love you” all the time, because its such a major part of our vocabulary. But we lose the sense of connection to the word.

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I believe if you are truly in love with someone, you know that no matter what happens, that other person is always there for you, even if you feel that they are not. There are no unrealistic  ideas about your future or your relationship. That when the going gets tough-when things seem messy and endless-when things reach the ultimate low–they wont abandon you. They wont leave you because they want you and need you. When they want you, they will be by your side in the good times, and by your side when you feel like you are both at the brink of losing each other. The very idea that you may lose each other brings you closer together.

Anyone can say I love you. But only few can make you feel wanted.